Self-Reflect and Moving Forward
Hello guys! It has been a while since I last post. Every time I promised to be more active in blogging, it always seemed to backfire and didn't end well. So as the last post in 2017 (probably) it's time to self-reflect and move forward in 2018!
To be perfectly honest, I've written out a long post before on my smartphone but stupid me forgot to save it as a draft so yeah, the long post gone in a blink. Probably it's for the best as it was filled with words that I know I might regret, like so many things I've said and done this past year and probably even before that.
Back in university, I've learnt about self-reflect. There was one class that told us to submit weekly self-reflection as part of our assignments. Back then I didn't know how helpful it was to do that so I just did it based on just assignment and not literally self-reflecting, which was the whole point of that assignment.
Moving forward to present time, I feel like self-reflection is very important and I need to do it. I've been depressed countless times in the span of the last five years and even before that I didn't realize of it yet. It was dark and despite I was difficult to cry when I was a baby, it isn't the case now. I'm a cry baby, with or without trigger and that is tiring. I shouldn't be left alone or I might cry, probably like now when my eyes are watery.
Self-reflection for me it's not only for being depressed, but also for my anxiety on how to approach people. My friends tend to see me as easily meeting new people but that isn't the case. I might be able easily converse with new people but that doesn't mean I'm good at keeping them as friends. Like now when I'm in the middle of what I recall as my own fault, I don't even know the best way to fix it, or even move forward. I got anxiety checking social media and phone notifications that I keep it on vibrate most of the time for the past month. I'm sorry if my apology seems not fit but I sincerely apologize to anyone, I mean literally anyone whom I might hurt in the past, whether it was accidental or not.
For someone whose life depending on social media activity, it bugs me a lot in more ways than one. Seeing 2018 now, I feel like I need to sort my life to the point that social media activity is not one my main activity. Currently I'm helping my mom's family with their food business. But also I have consulted with my mom about this fashion course I'd like to take. I've been engrossed in bags, not designer ones since I usually bring a lot of stuff when I'm out so I'm determined to actually make one that suits me. If all went well, my mom would help me with the business side since she would retire soon from her current job.
This is a step for me to move forward. I've been in a slump for years and to be honest, I'm not mature at all. I'm this childish person who is still depending on my parents, my mom mostly. I want to see myself grow to be a better person, or at least healthier, physically and mentally as I still go to gym and now taking self-reflect log book more seriously.
This is my resolution in 2018 and hopefully if I did well, I might get back in blogging and vlogging more regularly. And probably with better content for you all. Sending best wishes for you all who took your time to stop by on my blog and read this post. Happy holidays, everyone!
