Taking Big Changes in Life

I know what you're thinking. Where the hell have I been in the past months since my last blog post here? If you are curious, you're just a click away figuring that out.

Hello, I hope you have a great time, wherever you are. If you guys followed my blog for quite a while, I'm pretty sure you were sick of "long time no see" post in nearly every post I wrote here. Not surprising though, I have been busy. For real this time since I told you (did I? Someone has to remind me) I went back to school, fashion school. How that started?

So, I've gone a few years nearly doing absolutely nothing. Pretty much the ones knowing this too well beside myself would be my family. There were times I camouflage into this person who had so many things to do but in reality, I did absolutely nothing. It was sad times when I didn't know what to do with my situation, mentally and physically. So I just did whatever coming my way, whether it was helping out businesses or just absolutely nothing.

By that time, my creativity juice started running out. Back when I had the whole time for myself and still doing blog post semi-religiously, I read so many articles about how to restart my life. Vlogs, blog posts, articles, you named it. Easily digested, but it wasn't as such to implement in real life of me. At least my past self would still think that.

So last year, I finally was on my rock bottom. The lowest of low. Good thing my mom came to rescue. Probably because she was in her last months working before retirement, so she had a big chunk of time for her daughters, especially me. Well she did have to take care of my younger sister who back then had to prepare stuff before studying abroad but in between and after that, I got full attention to restart my life.

I find that looking for what my passion is isn't that easy. I'm the type of person who could like many things at once, which at some point adventageous to write or talk about in social setting but for the other makes it difficult to choose when it comes to making it as a life line. I failed my psychology study because of my love for writing and photography though to be honest I love all of them equally. But loving equally does mean it would be difficult to live my life with those as my life line. At least for the current me.

With that thought I started back in square one. What makes me happy? I remember back then I accompanied my grandpa to work and he would just give me paper, pencil and candy until he was done with work. Little me was quite satisfied with that and from there I followed the red line that connecting me to my past memorable moments. My birthday gifts from my mom would consist of expensive colored pencil set, or a book about watercolor  painting. Or that moment when I didn't mind being dirty because of paint. Or that moment in school days when my parents found out how my textbooks were full with doodles of people and clothing.

Those things for me lighting up the bulb in my brain that said 'get your a** to fashion school'. So I did look for fashion school and even attending just one open house and that only event got me hooked to that school and that school is where I've been this time. I love everything about it and I know I did get some stress like any other people at school. But I don't mind. I got to learn to draw better, to color better with many methods from just graphite pencils, colored ones and even markers. This for me is the biggest changes that I've done in my life. And in my 27-year-old-self. That is something if you were living in the country I lived in where older age wouldn't be able to restart life by learning something new in school setting. But I'm grateful, to my mom who trusted me to be able to do this by putting so much money on tuition and those expensive art stuff I needed for school, my family who has been my biggest supporters and obviously my best friend, Monik who shares the same passion in art since we knew each other back in college. 

To those who struggles with their lives and wanting to restart theirs, I just wanna say go for it. Take your time. It took me a few years to bounce back and although I'm not in my best shape, I'm still working on it and I believe it is a continuous work. You'll do better if not great. Just know when you don't have emotional support, I for one would always cheer for you because I've been there. Cheers for better life!